Bad Romance Novel Opening Lines (Part II)

15> "Hers was a dark and stormy loin."

14> "The T. Rex stopped to stare at the female, its tawny pecs rippling in the dappled light."

13> "Her eyes were a beautiful bright blue. Her lips full and sensual. And her legs strong and firm, all four of them."

12> "Nick Adams held the corset in his hand. It was a good corset. It would rip when he ripped it. Nick liked that."

11> "Her habit clung to her body like leather to a bible."

10> "Her voice quivered like a plate of Jell-O on a fault line, and her body was soon to follow."

9> "Flinging her abusive husband's genitalia out the car window, Lorena felt a long overdue sense of freedom."

8> "Long auburn hair flowing out behind her, dress billowing in the breeze, Cassandra had given in to gravity's pull and hit the pavement like a bag of fresh phlegm."

7> "I couldn't take my eyes off of his rippling physique, his dark leonine mane, his sensual lips, and his skim, no foam, double cappuccino, half-caf, half-decaf eyes."

6> "The very sight of him made me forget Paris & long for New Jersey."

5> "With great trepidation, Richard Jewell walked the six flights of stairs to the apartment he shared with his mother."

4> "Her bosom was heaving uncontrollably; she doubted she'd make it to the toilet on time."

3> "I blushed as the Captain strode toward me in his manly way, took me in his arms and whispered, 'Make it so, Number One! Engage!'"

2> "The man probe dug in deep while NASA engineers gawked in lecherous pleasure."

and the Number 1 Bad Romance Novel Opening Line...

1> "Marv strutted into the Ritz with a twinkle in his eye and a gleam in his incisors."

This joke was found on Top5 Logo

Chris White's Top 5

go back to the search

go back to the funny page

go back to the title list

go back to the main page
spunge@spunge.org
Added: 9-3-97
http://anduin.eldar.org/~ben/funny/html/457.html